Net-Defence has warned that romance scams are evolving into what it calls "emotionally engineered cyber attacks", with UK victims estimated to have lost £106 million last year.
Debra Cairns, Managing Director of Net-Defence, said online relationship fraud is becoming more sophisticated as criminals use trust, emotion and loneliness to persuade victims to share personal information or send money. Scammers often begin contact on dating platforms or social media before moving conversations to private messaging apps, where scrutiny is lower and emotional pressure can build more quickly.
The warning comes as reports of romance fraud in the UK have risen by about 20 per cent year on year, with average losses of more than £11,000 per victim. Cairns said the true scale is likely to be higher because many cases go unreported, with victims feeling shame, embarrassment or confusion about what has happened.
According to the firm, growth in online dating and messaging has created more opportunities for organised criminals. It says post-pandemic shifts in how people seek relationships, alongside wider loneliness and the normalisation of forming connections online, have made this type of fraud easier to carry out.
Generative artificial intelligence has also changed the methods used by scammers. Fraudsters can now create convincing profile images, fluent written exchanges and, in some cases, synthetic audio or video that make false identities appear plausible on first contact.
These tools allow criminals to increase both the volume and quality of their approaches. Rather than relying on crude, easily detected messages, scammers can sustain prolonged conversations that appear personal and emotionally credible, making it harder for targets to spot warning signs early.
Cairns said her view was shaped in part by personal experience of online dating after many years of marriage. While many people expect familiar risks such as misleading photos, exaggerated personal details or awkward interactions, they may not realise the extent of organised cybercrime operating behind the scenes.
"Our business is about helping people to be secure. We want to educate them, not terrify them, but as cases reported across the media escalate, awareness is key. Romance scams are becoming increasingly sophisticated, with cyber criminals exploiting trust, emotion and loneliness to manipulate victims into sharing personal information or transferring money. These attacks are often highly targeted and can have devastating financial and emotional consequences," said Debra Cairns, Managing Director of Net-Defence.
One common pattern, she said, is for a fabricated crisis to emerge after trust has been established. The request may involve medical bills, travel problems or another urgent financial need, shifting the interaction from affection to obligation.
"The reality of digital risk is often misunderstood; everyone is a target. Scammers are known to begin on dating platforms or social media before moving conversations quickly to private messaging apps, where emotional intensity increases and oversight decreases," said Cairns.
Human factor
Net-Defence said romance fraud should not be viewed only as a technical crime because it depends heavily on social engineering and emotional manipulation. The firm argues that it works by exploiting the private logic of an apparently intimate relationship, using urgency, secrecy and dependency to override scepticism.
Cairns said the spread of AI has made that challenge more complex because systems can now mimic human interaction before any genuine relationship exists. That means victims may be drawn into exchanges that feel authentic long before they have reason to question the identity at the other end.
"The wider challenge is not only technical, but human. These systems are designed to respond like people before they ever exist as people," said Cairns.
Silence around romance scams remains one of the main reasons they continue at scale, according to the firm. Victims may struggle to acknowledge they have been deceived, particularly when the loss is emotional as well as financial, and that can delay reporting to banks or fraud authorities.
Basic checks
Net-Defence advised people to slow the pace of emotional engagement online, verify identities through live interaction, keep early exchanges within established platforms and treat any urgent request for money as a warning sign. It also said people should never send money to someone they have not met in person.
Cairns said reducing stigma is an important part of prevention because open discussion helps others recognise the signs sooner and seek help more quickly if they believe they have been targeted.
"We are committed to simplifying cyber security and educating people on best practice. Awareness is not just protection; it interrupts these scams and breaks the isolation they depend on.
"Romance scams thrive on shame, secrecy and self-blame. Talking about them openly removes stigma and helps others recognise warning signs earlier. If you believe you or someone you care about may be affected, report the profile immediately and contact Report Fraud and your bank if any money has been sent," said Cairns.